The call was a typical request for our industry -to determine indoor airborne mold spore counts in a home- but because of unique situation: the customer’s parrots were acting strange, and she believed that they were sensing mold in the walls and were becoming ill. I assured her that we would help evaluate the situation and marked the appointment on the calendar.
Later that week, I gathered my equipment and drove out to the outskirts of town where the customer lived adjacent to the air force base. As I turned my truck down the gravel drive leading to her home, there was a deafening roar from a jet that kicked up dust in the barren landscape. Other jets could be seen circling the horizon and heat waves shimmered across the barren valley. As I pulled up to the house I noticed a large pile of bird cages heaped on the driveway. When I had spoke with the customer over the phone she had mentioned her birds, but the amount of cages laying on the driveway indicated that I may have severely underestimated the number of birds she was living with.
I knocked firmly on the door and slowly surveyed the yard while I waited for the door to open. There was no grass, merely dead weeds and a few scraggly desert shrubs. The sound of jets landing and taking off was constantly in the background, and the warm wind sent little spirals of dust into the air, wandering aimlessly from the property out into the surrounding desert. Piles of different cages lay scattered about in stages of repair or disrepair, and I again began to wonder about the amount of birds contained in the home.
The door opened and scraggly woman with long wavy grey hair stuck her head out.
“You the mold man?”
“Yes ma’am”
“Alright then c’mon in!”
Her voice was shrill and intense, and I stepped into the home hardly knowing what to expect.
Red, blue, and yellow macaws; love birds, and cockatiels all sat perched without cages; their bright plumage lighting up the room with color in stark juxtaposition to the dull desert landscape outside. From the loud squawks coming from the other rooms, I could tell that the birds in the living room did not represent the full extent of the birds occupying the home. The woman introduced me to the birds in the living room by name and then began to explain why she believed she needed my services.
“Some of the parrots have begun having respiratory issues. Small coughs and wheezing. Others are beginning to lose feathers.”
“What makes you think it might be mold causing their health issues?” I asked.
“Some internet research, and noticing how the birds will spend large amounts of time during the day staring at a particular spot in the wall. It’s almost like they know something is in the wall making them sick”
I explained that mold needs a moisture source and unless there was a plumbing leak it was unlikely that mold would be occurring within the walls. There were a number of other factors that could lead to mold growth elsewhere however, and I set up my equipment to collect samples of the air. While the samples were being collected, the woman continued my tour of the home and introduced me to the other rooms full of parrots.
As we left the living room, one of the blue macaws took opportunity for a free ride to different scenery and took a quick flight across the room and landed on the woman’s head. The immediate shriek that left her mouth indicated that this was not a common occurrence despite the living conditions.
“Get it off! Get it off!!”
I reached out and grabbed the large bird from the protesting mass of curly gray hair. I brought it back to its perch in the living room and the woman continued the tour like nothing had happened.
The other birds in the house sat in cages and were in different states of either sleeping, squawking for food, or biting the cage wires with their massive beaks. The woman explained to me her passion for birds and how important it was that we made sure that they were safe. Between the macaws and other parrots she had close to 50 birds in her care.
I moved the sampling equipment to another location in the home and listened as the woman told me the different games she played with her parrots, from teaching them new words and songs to repeat, to giving them shot glasses filled with soda and pretending that they were at a drinking party. She again mentioned her frustration about the parrots insisting on staring at the wall and their hesitancy to join in the usual games they played.
“Maybe your house is haunted” I jokingly suggested, hoping to help lighten her mood.
“Why would you say that?” She replied, looking at me intensely as if I was withholding important information, while drawing her face close to mine and repeating the question.
“Why would you say my house is haunted?”
“I’m sorry, it was only a joke- I thought it might explain why the parrots were staring at things you couldn’t see.”
She looked at me as if I had discovered a secret about her home that wasn’t supposed to be known and her voice grew hushed.
“No don’t be sorry, I’m glad you noticed. My husband and I have begun to think the house is haunted – but we don’t like to tell people because they might think we’re crazy”
Her face was mere inches from mine and her eyes were darting back and forth, quickly scanning for signs that the ghosts might be listening. I nodded understandingly and took a half step back.
“What else have you seen?”
My sampling equipment completed its cycle and issued a loud alarm. The woman jumped.
“Sorry, let me move this to the next room.”
She followed me into the room and continued her story.
“It’s little things. The parrots staring at the wall like they know something is there. Small things going missing and not being able to find them again. Sometimes we drop stuff on the floor and it rolls to one side like an invisible force is acting on it”
I bit my tongue.
At this moment her husband walked in the door. He was a grizzled old man in blue dusty overalls and looked like he had been working outside. He stared inquisitively at my air sampling machine.
“So this finds the mold huh?”
“Yessir, I hope so.”
“Good- we need it. I expect she’s told you all about the issues with the birds?”
“Yessir- a real bummer. Hopefully we can help figure out what’s going on.”
“Did she tell you about the erm, the other issues?” He fiddled with his hat nervously.
“She was just getting to that”
“Ok good. Real weird stuff. Sorry I wasn’t in here earlier. I was out back digging a hole. Finally have it so big that I could throw an entire body in and nobody would ever know.”
I stared at him with a blank look on my face.
“Don’t worry- it’s not for you.” He gave me a sly wink that didn’t help me feel any more comfortable.
We paused as a jet flew over the house. The windows rattled and dust swirled outside.
“Gotta love it” the old man said with a crooked grin.
I explained to them briefly how the sample analyzation process worked and that they would have their results back in a few days and began slowly backing towards the door.
“Do you have one of those machines that checks for spirits?”
I looked at the woman for a few seconds trying to gauge whether or not she was joking. Her inquisitive look did not disappear.
“Unfortunately ghost hunting and mold inspection aren’t as closely related as you might believe.”
“Well shoot it was worth a try. Guess we’ll go down that road after we figure out the mold thing.”
“Best of luck with all that” I responded as sincerely as I could muster.
I pulled out of the driveway a little faster than I should have and headed back to the office. I could see them waving at me from the driveway and pushed the gas pedal down a little further. Can’t linger when there’s mold and ghosts getting parrots worked up in a frenzy.